Sheenae.com

This morning we had cinnamon rolls and my husband commented that I had left him the center roll, which everyone knows is the best one cause it doesn't have a crust. I felt guilty because I usually take the center one and this time I had left it because I had undercooked the rolls a little and the center one had deflated a little. So, I told him the truth because I wanted to be honest and we're all about being open with each other. So, then Paul responded, "Well, since we're being honest I thought you should know I always put the retarded roll in the center."

Anyway, have you seen the new Weezer video, Pork and Beans? U can haz cheezburger if you get all the net references.

This is a clip from Creature Comforts about self image. The only thing I would change is my height. Sometimes it's hard to find pants and stuff that fit me. Luckily, I have a mommy who sews and is nice enough to hem things for me.

I see a lot of people who have had plastic surgery in my city: botox, nose jobs, face lifts, boob jobs, etc. I never noticed it before, but now it's like you can see the un-naturalness of some people's faces and bodies. The plastic forehead that doesn't move but shines really well. The breasts that look like bolt on bowling balls. I'm so tired of seeing actresses who don't show any expression on their face or the news anchor who doesn't move her eyebrows.

Maybe I seem unsympathetic to the problems of the unattractive. But that's not true. I donate to the Ugly People Foundation. My point is that people should learn to embrace their flaws. It's like Paul always says: everyone needs challenges. Next time you look at yourself and think you don't like your nose or the size of your thighs, just think, "My nose isn't too big, my nose is a character builder." Think of it as an enchantment plus 5 in the role-playing game of life.

I have a new favorite blog: Stuff White People Like. My mother is Korean and my father is caucasian, so it makes sense that about half of the things applied to me. I eat expensive sandwiches for lunch, I just came back from a trip to Japan, and my husband and I are talking about getting a Prius. That must be my white side. On the other hand, I believe natural medicine is bunk, and I do not like dogs or lawyers.

I especially like the tips they give you on how to take advantage of white people and their weaknesses.

#58 Japan

"If you find yourself in an awkward silence with white people, just mention how you want to go to Japan. They will immediately begin talking about how their trip to Japan, or their favorite stuff from Japan, but it will be entirely about them. This is useful as you no longer have to talk, and they will like you for letting them talk about themselves."

#59 Natural Medicine

"How can you use this for gain? It’s easy! When a white person you work with is feeling sick or says they have no energy, ask them to tell you more about their problems. After pretending to listen for a little while, tell them that in your culture/home country “we cured that using a special herbal powder from [insert made up tree] root.

Then the next day bring them a small bag of basil or oregano and tell them to boil it in a tea (white people love to believe in magic teas) and see how they feel in the morning. One of two things will happen. They will either wake up feeling great because they want to feel great and they’ll thank you profusely. Or they will wake up feeling like crap, and when you confront them at work, they will lie and say they feel good.

Either way, you did them a favor so now they owe you a favor."

Check out my other favorite blogs on the right, under "Blogs."